A 21 year old man from Birmingham has been removed from Alton Towers today for shouting “John Wardley loves hummus.”

Its strict policy at AT that no one use Sir John Wardleys name in vain, especially whilst shouting outside Heave Ho which is a Zamperla Rub N Tug.

Management have declined to comment but a witness Miss Henrietta Swob said “The bloke was shouting it like a game of bogies. We all know the rules and stick by them. If he shouts obscenities like that against our saviour then he deserves to be banned for life.”

More news as we get it.

 

 

DISCLAIMER: This is fake news and is meant for entertainment purposes only.

A mother from Grimsby has recently come under attack after threatening her son (9) with a Vekoma SLC ride.

It is reported that she didn’t specify which SLC in the UK she was referring to but the closest to Grimsby is The Odyssey at Fantasy Island in Skegness which is also the largest in the world.

Both mother and child have asked to be anonymous but the story unfolded after the mum (38) sent out a post on Facebook, mocking the fact she threatened her child in the most inhumane way.

 

 

 

*Disclaimer: This is fake news and shouldn’t be taken seriously. It is meant for entertainment purposes only.

Remember the song “I’m gonna be (500 miles”? Well the creators of that immersive piece of music have been shortlisted to compose a refreshed Th13teen theme for 2020.

The coaster is an Intamin family coaster with a drop track element that was first opened in 2010. Unfortunately in the years since, it has become a ride people are now bored of. This is where a re-theme and new soundtrack is required to add new life to the ride.

The actual 1993 song was considered for the coaster but AT decided against it due to the track not actually being 500 miles long. There will be a brand new song composed instead and will have a similar feel to the original track but with mystical tones.

We can’t wait to hear it.

 

 

 

*Disclaimer: This is 100% fake news and is untrue. Please don’t take it seriously as it is meant to entertain.

 

So there’s a rumour going around that Thorpe Park are bring a retro fun fair ride to the park in 2020. It’s a 1995 Simulator ride that will give guests the sensation of riding an RMC coaster.

Its been a few years since Thorpe opened a new coaster so this is the next best thing.

Harold Shnoooer who works at the park said “There’s more to Thorpe than coasters so stop your moaning.”

We cant say anymore at the moment.

More as we get it.

 

 

Disclaimer: This is 100% fake news and isn’t meant to be taken seriously.

The Diggerland parks are set to change name in 2021 with a worlds first Crane coaster in the works.

What is a crane coaster? It’s going to be a refurbished Pinfari coaster but with a difference. Instead of a standard lift hill, the train will by pushed uphill by a crane operator.

Work begins next year.

 

Disclaimer: This is fake news and is 100% untrue.

It seems like The Big One has lost its Pepsi sponsorship after 25 years.

We all know the ride as “The Pepsi Max”, even though it changed to ‘The Big One’ in 2011. It’s the 1994 Arrow coaster that was once the biggest in the world. Over the last 25 years it has become more of a punishment to ride but it is still a huge hit for the general public.

It has been announced that from 2020 the ride will be called “The Big Bepsi Maximum” as Blackpool Pleasure Beach didn’t want a complete rebrand.

Are you excited to ride Bepsi? Let us know on our Twitter page or comment down below.

 

 

Disclaimer: This is fake news and shouldn’t be taken seriously. It’s for entertainment purposes only.

We all love Paultons Park. It has turned itself into a major contender over the last few years and has the beauty and charm of other European parks such as Europa Park and PortAventura but in a much smaller package.

Things are on the horizon though, with the announcement of Tornado Springs I found myself intrigued with what rides and attractions the park will install. ‘Lost Kingdom’ opened in the park for the 2016 season with flagship rides ‘Flight of the Pterosaur’ and ‘Velociraptor’.

Moving forward to 2021 and another new investment is coming to expand the Peppa Pig area. This expansion will include a new dark ride which is to be called ‘Peppa’s big shit’ and will follow Peppa’s journey to the toilet after eating some pink chicken.

Peppa herself refused to comment as the ride is currently being designed by Germany’s own ‘MACK Rides’.

More information as we get it.

 

 

DISCLAIMER: This is untrue and is 100% top quality fake news. It is intended for Entertainment only.

Coasterbot has just knocked Nick Hutson’s “Theme Park Fan” off the number one spot in the UK Coaster Enthusiast chart.

Harry AKA Coasterbot just released the hottest track on his YouTube Rewind video and it’s truly a masterpiece.

We haven’t heard off Nick Hutson yet but I’m sure he’s disappointed his streak of 1 whole year at Number 1 has finally come to an end.

“Theme Park Fan” was released a year ago and was a direct love letter to Theme Park enthusiasts all over the UK. Nick, if you are reading this, your track captured the hearts and ears of many and you are still very much at the top of your game.

 

 

 

DISCLAIMER: None of this is fact and is meant in jest. If any of you are offended, let me know. Peace!

I, like many can’t afford a top end gaming PC. I can’t even afford to get to parks too often but Planet Coaster is to release on formats people actually have, such as iOS, Android, lower end PC’s and iMac.

At freaking last!

As the game was released in 2016, technology has had plenty of time to catch up. Today it was finally announced by Frontier that Planet Coaster will be available from TODAY.

 

Disclaimer: This is fake news and it makes me sad.

The new bouncy castle at Thorpe Park is apparently the resort’s biggest attraction of the season so far.

”Big Ol Bouncers” is the new attraction at Thorpe Park and fans are quick to praise the 30ft wide bouncy castle. “I nearly broke my arse. It’s brilliant” said Geff Goff. Overall it’s reported that the attraction has had 100 minute queues consistently through the opening day of the season.

Lets hope the lack of genuine new rides this season doesn’t affect entrance numbers .

 

Disclamer: This is fake news and shouldn’t be taken seriously.