As I’ve said before, im new to this community and have been in contact with a lot of great people. I will honestly say, there’s not one person I don’t like but there is a huge issue I want to address.

I knew coming into the community that Theme Park drama happens frequently but I never knew the actual scale of it. There’s literally something happening every other day and it really shouldn’t be.

We are all here because we share a common interest so why can’t we all just get along?

I know things happen that can’t be avoided but I’ve seen petty arguments to full blown witch hunt’s on here and it’s only been a few months. These confrontations are public and it can be humiliating for the person on the back end of it. The best thing to do is raise an issue either privately or just be civil. Most of us are adults here and surely we should all talk as friends.

For some people this is their way of escaping negativities of real life so let’s all get along. We are all here for the same reason.

Now, I’m not the biggest coaster enthusiast around but Wicker Man is a fucking cool ride. It’s been open over a year and it’s exactly what Alton Towers needed in their arsenal of coasties. Okay, it’s not the biggest or longest ride around but I could not give less of a shit because it has so much to offer.

The 2018 GCI offers some airtime, a radical pre show, world class Theming and that glorious statue of Big Bob. This is more than any themed ride in the UK. It places at my number 1 spot because it delivers more than just a rollercoaster ride, it delivers a full experience.

Riding for the first time was something special, especially because I was put on the back row. It was truly magical.

Im not shitting on other themed rides because The Smiler and The Swarm are also themed very well but I’m drawn towards the man of wicker for some reason.

It makes me wonder what Merlin has in store for older rides. I mean if Nemesis had a theming upgrade I’m sure the crowds would come back but even though the station still looks good, it’s no longer world class. If it was rebuilt with the quality of Big Bob and with added effects I’m sure enthusiasts would “Jizz in their pants” (please excuse the expression). For example, a smoke machine in the vertical loop pit, smoke cannon on top of the structure which blasts when the train performs the zero G over the station and some sound effects at parts of the ride. The coaster itself is flawless but needs changes.

So does theming make a ride better? What are your thoughts?

I currently live in Gloucestershire where there’s not a rollercoaster in sight for miles and miles. If you can’t be arsed to look geographically at where it is well it’s pretty much the north of South West England, a few miles north of Bristol. Pretty much in between Alton Towers and London (Via the M6, M5 and M4). There’s plenty to do here such as sitting on a bench next to some bins or getting shat on by seagulls. Okay… maybe I’m being harsh. There is Gloucester Cathedral (They filmed Hogwarts corridor scenes there) and a few animal reserves but NO THEME PARK’S. The closest to me is Brean Theme Park (Which isn’t even a Theme Park, it’s an amusement park) and that place doesn’t interest me at all. The second closest is Drayton Manor which is a good 90 minute drive away. I really like that park but there’s not enough there to keep me interested on a regular basis.

So let’s talk journey times and transport. I do have a car but my drivers side window doesn’t work (can’t use barrier car parks for the time being.  I need a new window motor and it’s expensive so umm yeah, that’s a pain. There’s always my wife’s car but she needs her car for work. Luckily I’m going to fix my car issue pretty soon as i’ve been putting off doing it for a while so that will be one less thing to worry about.

Now, Park journey times kinda vary for me. I drive for a living and I know being sat in a car for too long can be tedious so journey times really make a difference when choosing a park. Alton Towers is a 2 and a half hour drive for me (usually takes 3 hours when you take dreaded roadworks into consideration), Thorpe Park, Chessington, Paultons Park and Legoland are all approx just over 2 hours away from me. I can kinda deal with that but wouldn’t want to do it too often. Drayton Manor takes a 75 minute drive and Brean is 60 minutes but even then, can I really be bothered to go to Brean? Blackpool? Don’t get me started. It’s a near 4 hour drive and 100% wouldn’t attempt.

Trains? As they are private companies, rail travel costs a shit tonne. From Stroud to London, it costs £65 for a return and extra travel expenses (the tube or bus service) can really hike prices up. As for Blackpool, it’s £102 with 3 fricking changes. No thank you. A coach is another option but prices are still high and well… it’s a coach.

So what’s the point in this blog? Well… there is no point but travel really can be a deciding factor for choosing which Theme Park you want to explore due to pricing, restrictions, journey time etc.

Do you have any tips for cheap/easy travel across the country?

Luke.

I know many people out there are overweight (like myself) and are worried about the dreaded walk of shame. Now I have these anxieties every time I attempt a new credit and it really is nerve wracking.

I’ve been lucky so far and haven’t needed to do the walk of shame but I’ve been pretty close to it. Weirdly, I fit on family coasters fine. The lap bars are usually crappy anyways and getting a click or two isn’t a problem but I have had times where I’ve only just fit. For example Wicker Man. I can only get one click of the lap bar on my own but there was no questions asked. Even then, I felt pinned to my seat which I personally like as I’m not the biggest fan of airtime (heart falling out of your arse moment).

I did click my leg outside of the restraint on Octonauts and Troublesome Trucks which needed a quick restraint reset but that was a quick fix.

My biggest fear is gaining more weight and not being able to ride rollercoasters. Over the shoulder restraints aren’t very accommodating to me. For example, I did need a member of staff to lightly shove my restraint on Nemesis as I couldn’t get the seatbelt in by myself.

Going back to lap bars, I am a fan of the T shaped bar that pins you to your seat. They are well designed and they are very safe feeling. The only time I’ve ever felt slightly unsafe was on Runaway Mine Train. The lap bar on that is an old school steel bar that restrains both riders per car. I really don’t like these at all due to the lack of actual restraint.

Different people like different forms of restraint. It seems like many of the community would rather a lap bar over an OTSR. I personally much prefer an OTSR due to the level of restraint on my body. I just barely fit in them.

 

Bye for now.

Luke x

If, like me live nowhere near a Theme Park, DON’T WORRY because I have you sorted. Here are 5 things you can do with your days off, without even entering a Theme Park.

1. Take up knitting.

2. Review random places on trip advisor

3. Mow the lawn

4. Take a trip to the local waste disposal center.

5. Binge watch Judge Rinder.

You are all very welcome.

 

DISCLAIMER: Just joking. Do something fun.

This is an appreciation blog to all of you who’ve read any of my blogs or interacted with me on Twitter.

I started this blog as a fake news outlet 2 months ago, mainly to get my foot in the door of the Theme Park community. I’ve been following park news, watching vlogs and reading forums for the past year but wasn’t too sure if getting into the community was a great idea at first. I mean, I’m still shit scared of big ol rollies but there’s something about them I find appealing and intriguing and my wife has had enough of me talking about them. 😂

Another reason is that I don’t really have much of a social life anymore. I work and look after my family. That is literally my whole life. I wouldn’t change that because I love my family more than anything but as I don’t really see my friends much anymore (moved away from the town I grew up in 3 years ago) THIS is my way of having a little bit of social time and it’s nice being acknowledged somewhere that’s not home or work. Thank you if you’ve followed me on Twitter. 170 of you have done so in the last 8 weeks and I appreciate all of you.

Holy shit, it’s nearly the weekend again. Not only that, it’s yet another Bank Holiday Weekend so park’s will be booming all over the country. It’s a “FUCK YEAH!” moment for enthusiasts as many have an extra day to explore. Not only that but Thorpe Park are celebrating their 40th birthday.

It’s the third Bank Holiday of the year and I’m sure it will be a great one for many. Here’s why I’m not so happy about it…

I’m salty. Oh damn, I’m salty. Another bank holiday and I’m working AGAIN! I know using holidays is the logical thing but sweet, sweet double time pay raises its sexy head (I’m poor and need the money). Now I know I shouldn’t be moaning but I’ve been to one park so far this season. ONE. BLOODY. PARK. I totally understand there’s many of you who haven’t been to any yet but if I’m being honest, I’m jealous (but happy) of all the enthusiasts making incredible memories. One upside is that I see all the amazing park photos across Twitter but man, I wish I was there. My next trip is booked for July but that’s like 2 months away so my request to you THE PEOPLE is to please upload as many photos as you can because I’m totally getting a theme park withdrawal.

well, I’ll block you. Please don’t be a cunt. I want to keep this page/account drama free.

Blackpool’s Hot Ice Show is extremely an extremely popular attraction at the pleasure beach but this year they are taking the name literally by having professional ice skaters perform in puddles of water.

The news comes after guests complained that the name suggests the ice will be hot. This is obviously the case and now the show will feature warm water.

It was rumoured they would rename the show “Freezing ice” but this isn’t the case.

 

 

DISCLAIMER! This is 100% fake news and isn’t true at all. It’s for entertainment purposes only.

If you only get to parks every once in a while, it can be really frustrating during the weeks/months between. Like many Theme Park enthusiasts I get withdrawal symptoms quite soon after the Theme park hangover has settled and I really do get jealous (not salty though) of people having weekend adventures frequently. I do work most weekends and my closest park is a good 90 minute drive away so it’s not feasible but I do really look forward to having park days.

So I do I get my coaster fix between trips? Well I mainly watch a tonne of vlogs and use Twitter to keep up to date with the latest news and goings on in the community. I’m sure it’s the same for many enthusiasts as there’s so much quality content on YouTube and social media.

I also enjoy browsing through forums in which I check out opinions and predictions of future coasters and attractions. With all the content, my favourite coaster media at the moment is Theme Park Podcasts. There’s many across the internet (mostly American) but the 2 UK based podcasts I enjoy are the Theming and Memeing podcast and the Coaster Bot Rambles podcast. You can find both on YouTube and iTunes. These are great if you either have a driving job or work in an environment where you can listen with no distractions.

The internet can be a wonderful thing and with the amount of content around, It definitely scratches the theme park itch.

 

 

Luke