So I got back from Alton Towers last night and I’m pretty damn tired today. Got home around 10PM l (stopped on the way home for an hour). The worst part was setting my 4:30am alarm ready for work. I’m currently typing this out on my phone whilst on break. 😂
As I’ve said a few times before, I’m new’ish to the community and up until last year I had only been on one rollercoaster. Literally one at 29 years of age. This was mainly to do with me being shit scared of heights and force. The good thing though, is over the last 12 months of being into Theme Parks, I have been able to experience fantastic rides and attractions for the first time as an adult and experience the magic for the first time in general.
The first time I went to Alton Towers was back in April (2019) and needless to say, I was still shitting it. I only managed to get on Wicker Man, Nemesis, Octonauts and Runaway Mine Train but the first two were the rides I’ve been waiting months to experience. Fast forward to yesterday (with a few new creds in between) and I’m back, ready to take on some new rides with just me and my wife.
Yesterday was fantastic from beginning to end. Despite the wet weather, we knew the rides would be slick and hopefully the queues weren’t going to be too bad.
-WICKER MAN-
In the car on the way to Alton, I saw the news that Wicker Man was closed at park opening. This did worry me a bit but literally as we got into the park at 11:15am and had a stroll through Mutiny Bay Wicka Lad just opened, so we were extremely lucky to get into a 10 minute queue and have an extremely immersive ride on one of the best experiences in the country. All of the effects were on and the coaster itself was hella fast due to the rain. I love this coaster and it has the perfect balance of thrill and immersion. 10/10
-NEMESIS-
After taking the Skyride to Forbidden Valley, we were planning on riding Galactica as neither of us have been on it before. Unfortunately it was closed but they were running a test train. A friendly member of staff asked if we would try another ride and come back later so we decided to have a go on Nemesis. My wife was shitting herself as she had never experienced an inversion before.
So I had a problem with my restraint. Being a larger man, I tried with all my might to get my restraint down. Even the member of staff couldn’t click me in (I got on fine in April and I haven’t gained any weight since then. 😭). I got in the fat bastard seat, clicked in and we were off. Wow this ride still packs a punch at 25 years old and it’s still smooth. Nemesis is my favourite steel coaster and it fully deserves the recognition it gets. My wife really enjoyed her ride too despite the small panic at the start.
-GALACTICA-
As soon as we got off Nemesis, Galactica was open so we decided to take our first ride on this B+M flying coaster. Guess what? I couldn’t get clicked again so back to the fat bastard seat I went. (I want to say, the staff were so helpful throughout the day and got me on all the rides. I will lose weight for next time because that was embarrassing.). So we took a ride and it was so strange. I loved it but the sensation is unlike anything else I’ve been on. It was a comfortable ride and thoroughly enjoyable.
-RITA-
Couldn’t fit in the test seat so wasn’t going to wait 40 minutes to get the walk of shame.
-TH13TEEN-
Ah, a nice lap bar. I never get problems with lap bars. My legs and arse aren’t that big. It all goes to my upper body. I’d like to think it’s all muscle but unfortunately it’s not. 😂
So this was my first ride on Th13teen and it really was brilliant. We were sent to the back row (yay) and took our seats. The turn out of the station was nippy and that first drop. No one ever talks about the first drop and I’ll tell you, the airtime on the back row was great. The rest of the ride was short and whippy with some nice elements. Heading to the grand finale I kind of expected a forceful drop and didn’t get any airtime on the way down but it was fun. The backwards section in the dark was good and felt quite fast. Overall a great ride but I did expect the drop track to be less gentle.
-HEX-
Good cycle but the music wasn’t as loud. Still an immersive mad house with a fantastic story. Definitely one to try if you’re high. 😂
-OBLIVION-
My wife wouldn’t come on with me so I got front row in the middle (fat boy seat of course). The anticipation is worse than the drop.
They were firing trains out at rapid speed which kept the queue down. It was walk on so i thought I’d give it a try and it didn’t disappoint. Looking into the big ol hole at the top was a proper arse in mouth moment. As soon as you drop it’s nothing but adrenaline all the way. My ride photo was horrific. My face looks like I’m taking a big poo.
-THE SMILER-
Yet again, the staff were brilliant getting me into my fat fuck seat. I took to the single rider queue as my wife sat in the smoking area vaping away. To be honest, it was getting close to closing and we were both a bit tired at this point so I don’t blame her.
So this ride rates highly among many enthusiasts and I just don’t see why. I hated it. It looks fantastic but it’s so rough. I know there are rough seats and non rough seats but surely the key to a great coaster is consistency? It was jittery from the beginning, It made me dizzy, I hate the vertical lift hill and those last few inversions really throw you (not in a good way). I will say one good thing though… The airtime hills are fantastic and were the best part of the ride.
-CONGO RIVER RAPIDS-
We headed to Katanga Canyon to ride the rapids. It was pissing down with rain so the queue was non existent. My Mrs got the KFC megawave and most of the splashes. It was most excellent.
-WICKER MAN (again-
We ended our day the same as we started it with a ride on my number 1 coaster and holy shit, it was way faster than our first ride. It was raining most of the day and managed to warm up so it was extra speedy, slick, intense and extra foggy. It was the best ride I’ve had on it so far and with all the effects working was a 10/10 ride experience.
So after doing the usual pay for parking, decide to walk to the car because the monorail had a huge queue, regret the decision when it rains harder, we were finally on our way home (though we did have a stunning Chinese meal on the way home).
Right, I’ve done over 1200 words now. I’m off, bye
Luke
Unreliable Coaster Blog UK 