Things people never talk about (Theme Park edition)

You all watch vlogs (I assume) so what things literally NEVER get talked about? I mean, there’s so much good shit going on at theme parks that other things get overlooked. Let’s look at the stuff no one ever gives a shit about

WALKING A FUCKING MARATHON

Everyone knows walking around theme parks can kill your legs, especially when you’re queueing 11 hours for Hagrid’s Magical unicycle ride. Even with benches on offer, they are usually taken up by the elderly or parents that have given up their last shit. Theme parks are also relitavely big places so there’s a high chance you will get your steps in. Every time I’ve ever been to a theme park I sit in the car at the end of the day and say without fail “Ooh, that’s better.”

TOILETS

Ahh, the trusty shitter. Why does no one ever talk about restrooms? I mean, some have those futuristic hand driers and others have the 3 in 1 soap/wash/dry stations. No one ever says “The bogs were too pissy” or “That was a glorious emptying of the bowels.”

SMOKING AREAS

For those that love a cheeky ciggie or vape, no one ever mentions these havens of second hand smoke. I mean, they are a part of theme parks and get used a hell of a lot so when am I going to see a top 5 smoking shelter video on YouTube?

PUSHCHAIR CITY

Theres not much to say here but buggy parking is present at every single theme park and gets pushed aside (literally). I have a son who still occasionally uses a buggy and I have to tell you, parents are dicks when it comes to parking them. They block you in etc. It’s theme park road rage out there.

PAIN IN THE ARSE PARKING

Parking is a bitch in so many ways. The queuing to get into the car park, finding a space that’s not too far away but somewhere not close to anyone, when it’s quiet and you find a remote space for the next dickhead to come in and park right next to you, paying for your ticket and the list goes on.

VEGGIE/VEGAN FOOD

Im not veggie or vegan but a fucktonne of people are so why don’t we get any veggie food reviews? I’m guessing they just go for chips and onion rings.

ANNOYING/LOUD FUCKERS

Everywhere has loud people but no one ever talks about those rude people (usually on the rough side) who talk loudly, swear at their kids and make fun of people who are casually enjoying their day. Absolute bellends.

*Sorry if I offended the rough people. I’m not looking for any trouble. 😂